My intention in sharing this blog is to help other neurodiverse/ sensitive souls to feel seen and maybe even inspired to advocate for your UNIQUE sensory sensitivities and neurotype in an act of radical self care.
How exciting does the phrase “radical self-care” sound? (& by ‘sound’ - I actually mean FEEL.)
Actually let’s start right here with an “unmasking”.
I can FEEL words.
I’m what’s called hyperlexic in the neurodiverse world. (I was basically reading novels and writing stories before I could wipe my own butt.)
FYI- We hear a lot about dyslexia but hyperlexia often goes un noticed - (basically ‘coz “good girls” who sit quietly and read, don’t bother anyone.)
I also experience somatic empathy which means I don’t just observe social interactions, I physically absorb and embody them.
Add hyper focus, intense pattern recognition & predictive empathy to the mix and this magic combo somehow means there are words I know by FEEL …but if I had to verbalise a dictionary definition in the moment, my brain would completely glitch. (Imagine too many logs flowing down a river, causing a log jam.)
I guess at some point in time, words and all the feelings attached to each individual one got stored in my mega library of a brain where they just sit on the shelf until I need them.
Some might say that because my capacity for deep focus collides with a gift for language and profound emotional depth it shapes how I consume stories, process information, and experience the world.
“Some” would be right.
And because this unique processing occurs literally at lightning speed across a highly interconnected neurodivergent brain I don’t actually notice I’m analyzing micro-data (& pulling files from the mega library) …It kinda’ just registers as a sudden, intense "gut feeling" or like sensing a person's "vibe.”
To be honest, it feels almost psychic. But what’s truly happening is I’m absorbing “the raw data” of a person's emotional state through hyper-empathy, while my pattern recognition maps where their emotions, behaviour or intentions are headed next.
…And sometimes the entire experience comes through as a FELT word.
Bloody hell - Did I mention I’m not your (neuro) typical woman?
Anyway - as I was saying I can FEEL words.
Here’s a real life example which might be easier to understand:
I was recently aware that a child was looking at her father with a look of “disdain.” I could FEEL “disdain” in every cell of my body. Without a doubt the word to label the interplay of energy was “disdain” … but do you think I could explain the dictionary meaning of the word?
Of course when I looked it up it was bang on.
Disdain: A feeling of strong dislike or disapproval combined with the belief that a person or thing is inferior, unworthy, or beneath your respect.
Disdain is a yucky word to feel - I feel it as heaviness on my chest, a clenching in my jaw, a sorrow in my soul and a rotten kind of festering in my belly, It makes me feel a bit hot & sick- it’s gross to feel, repulsive even.
Imagine a 5 year old child looking to her father and mirroring a look of disdain.
It doesn’t exactly evoke a warm & fuzzy feeling does it?
In my role as an Interplay therapist it’s my job to FEEL everything in the relational space.
In my life, it’s not my job.
I don’t get paid for it.
And yet…
I still feel it ALL.
‘Coz I’m not your (neuro) typical woman.
A neurotypical person looking at that same kid I mentioned earlier might think, "That’s a harsh look," or "She looks upset with her dad." They’d process it as an intellectual observation.
My experience is completely different because of my UNIQUE sensory profile and because I have what’s called Hyper-Connected Mirror Neurons.
For me this means my brain doesn't just register that someone else is feeling something- it replicates the exact physical sensation of that emotion inside MY own body.
Yup it’s an old myth that autistic people can’t feel?
In truth a lot of autistic folk experience intense "affective empathy” in this way.
In my professional role - it’s a gift.
And …
It’s also fking exhausting at times!
Feeling a child mirror disdain—an emotion heavy with contempt and unworthiness—feels like a sensory assault. In that particular case I had to literally process the emotional toxicity of that family dynamic in my own belly.
Gross. (& sad & everything else.)
Neurotypical folk don’t FEEL and PROCESS others emotions as their own.
A neurodivergent nervous system never gets a day off. It works overtime in silence, and the price of that constant labor is usually paid in absolute exhaustion.
That’s why I reckon neuro diverse therapists, artists, musicians and those in care giving roles deserve to be paid accordingly for our gifts.
And … it’s also why I reckon self care isn’t a luxury - it’s a neccessity.
I’m not your (neuro) typical woman.
Radical self care means it’s essential for me to prioritise S P A C E to process life. (Radical self care FEELS exciting.)
What does radical self care mean to you?
